kellye's Cancer Blog
September 19, 2008
| Paracentesis needed | Views: 951 |
Weezie, Tiffany lives in Vancouver. She is working on a duel citizenship. She married a Canadian a few years ago.
Barbara is scheduled for another paracentesis Monday morning. This will probably be the last they will be able to do. The tumor has grown so much that they say there are no longer “pockets” of fluid to drain anymore. It is more like a sponge full of holes and that just makes if more difficult. The needle will be CT guided so they will be better able to see what they are doing. I am finding it harder and harder to keep the tears hidden from her. Tiffany has offered to help with some respite care but it makes me feel like a failure to possibly need that. I know I am not being a very good mother to my children staying so emotional but I want to support Barbara as much as I can. We are also having issues about a wheel chair ramp and finding funding for things. I have calls out all over so so a prayer that things will fall into place. Barbara is so worried about what the next step will be if they are unable to draw any fluid. Her balance has been greatly affected by the added weight in the upper legs and hip area. Previously it had all been in the abdomen but the tumor is blocking fluid from going there now. If anyone has had any experiences with paracentesis no longer being able to help please let me know. Thanks, Kellye
Thanks for your support -
Please know that you and your family are in my prayers.
Hugs,
Jalene
Oh my dear Kellye I can see how hard this is becoming. I have one small idea. Make a new post and title it (in capitals)NEED ADVICE! ASAP. PARENTISIS (draing a tumour). Copy what you just said in this post and see what comes. Sometimes people scan the subjects and go to what peaks their interest. Just a thought.
You know, I took a palliative care course (6 intensive weeks) with Victoria Order of Nurses a year ago. The main thing they taught us was this: You are no good to anyone if you are emotionaly and physically drained. This is why we need others around. It is quite common to take a leadership role, thinking we are doing the right thing but it sometimes becomes too apparent to the patient, and that makes them fearful. You will really need Tiffany and she will want to feel in charge just because she has been away from the situation and it is after all her own blood. Not that it makes your love and help any less important. It must be shared when she arrives. Tiffany might need a little time to get her head around seeing her mom in this situation. She will want to talk to you in private and probably display a lot of emotion. You will need to be there for her. It will allow her to gain strength to be a major part in this caretaking. It is her reason for being with you at this time. So many things will come up that have not been discussed on the phone and you will have to bring her up to speed slowly and clearly. Let her take on some major tasks, and that way you will be allowing her to feel part of, not apart from, the game plan at hand. I know it won’t be easy for you to do that, but you will see that it will run more smoothly when you work as a team, leaving the feelings of “you haven’t been here so how would you know” kind of thing. You do need to get out, take your daughters and spend a day in normalacy. It is the one way you can show your daughters you can do this, now that you have Tiffany here. Be grateful for the help. And by the way your husband can also do some phone calling etc. Let everyone have a job. You are the leader but you have to step back and let people feel needed and wanted. I know how you have bonded and that can not be broken, so you have been lucky to have had those moments with Barbara. Now it is a group decision along with the Dr.’s how to keep Barbara’s pain to a minimum. I hope you have a palliative Dr. visiting once a week. If not see if Barbara is at that point to qualify for that. It will help you so much to have a monitoring process. Sometimes radiation is used to relieve pain but I am not familiar with what happens with Ovarian cancer. Do not be afraid to call the Oncologist’s taking care of Barbara. They have assistants who are used to answering all kinds of questions. By the way make sure you take a pen and pad to every Dr. meeting. Make a chart for what pills are taken and when, so if you are out, someone else can follow it. Also make sure she gets lots of electrolites. eg. gatorade, gingerale. That is just a bit of wisdom I can impart to you Kellye, other than you wonderful woman. Don’t forget you are a Mom too. Take time for yourself. Go get a pedicure or a massage. Do something for you alone. I hope some of this helps you.
Prayers always.
Weezie