kellye's Cancer Blog
September 6, 2008
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I am not sure if this is appropraite or not for me to be posting here. I do not have cancer but someone I love dearly does. My motherin-law, Barbara was diagnosed with ovarian cancer this past Feb. She went to the ER with shortness of breath. The fluid that was drained from her lungs was found to have cancer cells in it, although she does not have lung cancer. The primary site is her ovaries but it has spread beyond that. She elected to not have any treatment other than care & comfort. Other than a lot of paracentesis (sp) and a filter for blood clots in her legs she has not had anything else done except testing. A lot of this has been confusing to us (I am married to her son). There was no evidence of a tumor and she had had a hysterectomy years ago. In April her doc suggested hospice care. They have been absolutely wonderful! What a special group of people. She was admitted to their inpatient facility in August for a second blood clot in her leg. At that time she had been living alone with occasional sitters. Since that was no longer an option we started looking into assisted living places. The first place we went to seemed nice enough but when we started looking for a staff member to ask questions we couldn’t find anybody. It look us over 30 minutes to locate someone! What if she was there and needed help? We were able to walk around and couldn’t find anyone. What would she do confined to bed? We had offered for months to have her come live with us but, after that experience, we begged her to reconsider. After a lot of soul searching she agreed. She has always been such an independent person and I know that was a difficult decision for her to come to. She has now been here 2 weeks and it has been a blessing to be around her. My husband and I have been married for 6 years and have 6 daughters between us, ranging in ages from 21 down to 9 year old twins. My 12 year old is the only one that lives here but we have a huge house full every other weekend. We also have 3 granddaughters as well. I know this has been a HUGE adjustment to Barbara from living alone. The plan is for her to remain here as long as she possibly can. She wants to reurn to hospice near the end. We are trying to make her as comfortable as possible. I do not work and have been able to spend many hours really getting to know her. She is full of wisdom and we share many hours laughing and crying. I know I have been rambling a lot but I mainly wanted to thank you all for letting me into your world and helping me understand some of what you are going through in the hopes that I can help her.
Thanks for your support -
This is a perfect place for you to be. You are impacted by this disease and you are giving comfort and love to one of us.
You sound like a wonderful daughter in law and a blessing. Thank you for sharing, come back often.
Prayers to you.
Mac
I am so glad your mother decided to live with you. I know it must of been hard on her. But being around your family can be the best cure. ;-)
It is wonderful that you have decided to join the family. Family is always welcome here.
“WE NEED TO TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER”
The Poem Mothers are like flowers that I have posted, this can be copied and put on a card if you would like. I give you the ok to do so.
Hug Sherri
Here is a poem that I wrote for my mother.
Loving Mother
As we sit by the bed,
holding hands caressing your head.
Being our Mother we are so proud,
want to shout it to the world out loud.
To our Mother we love so dear, we your children will be always near.
Sharon Lewis ©
I wanted to have a special poem for my mother as she was in the hospital.
I went to bed and in the middle of the night I woke up and took pin to paper, I know that the Lord sent it to me .
This is the only the 2nd time I have shared this with any one.
Love to you and yours,
sherri
Please share this with your wonderful Mom
Oops I thought it was for your Mom, so you better share it with your Mother-in-law.
Love again Sherri
Sherri, Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful words. I have found so much comfort from these pages. Kellye
Sherri,
This is exactly the place you should be. There is much love and support here, and many loving family members share their stories with us… just like you. What a wonderful and caring woman you are. Your mother-in-law is so blessed. The worst place to be is alone when you are scared, in pain, and thinking about your life. Thinking about the life you have lived and having memories to share with someone who will appreciate them is so wonderful. How old is your mother-in-law? I am sad that she didn’t at least try some chemo to see how well she would respond. But I also respect her decision. Whenever you need to vent, find support, ask questions, anything at all, give us a buzz we are always here. gaile
Kellye,
It is fine for you to be here. We have many on here that do not have cancer but that have a loved one that does.
YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW IS SOOOO BLESSED TO HAVE SUCH A WONDERFUL AND CARING DAUGHTER-IN-LAW. You must be a very special lady. I know how hard it is to have to give up your independance. When my husband died two years ago I came to live with my daughter, son-in-law and grandson. Barbara does not need to be alone at a time like this. God Bless you for being there for her. How old is she?
Let us know if there is any way we can be of help to you or her.
My love, thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Hugs, Joyce