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 kellye's Cancer BlogNovember 6, 2008
We lost Barbara at 3:30 am today. My husband and I, her daughter, Tiffany from Canada, and their brother were all with her as she passed on. Hospice made it as peaceful as it could be. I can’t say enough good things about them. Thanks to all of you for your support and prayers. With love and thanks, Kellye
November 2, 2008
Barbara was admitted to inpatient hospice late yesterday afternoon. She is becoming so weak that she is not even able to get on the bedside commode without 2 people. It was a hard decision for her to move over there but she has been adament not wanting to die here. We don’t know how soon things may happen but her decline has been rapid over the past 3 or 4 days. They inserted a catheter today to help give her some relief and it just hurt she said. She is still begging to die. Up until recently Barbara had been involved in church and has always been an example, to me, of a Christian lady. This week she asked that Pastor Ed come over to see her in private. She had questions. He was scheduled to come Friday but Wednesday night she asked if he could come sooner. He came on Thursday morning. After they had their time he asked us to come back in the room where they were and said Barbara had just been saved. She had been baptised as a 10 year old but was doubting her salvation. She realized that she had just gone through the motions but not made the committment. She accepted Christ into her heart here in our living room. It was a very emotional experience for all of us here and an example to all to “get it settled”. As hard as all this is, we know where she will be for eternity. Her daughter in Canada is arriving tonight. We are taking shifts so she will not be alone. Please say a prayer for her to finally have peace and share her story of salvation. Maybe someone else will be encouraged by her to do the same. God Bless You All! Kellye Kellye, Kellye, You and Barbara are in my prayers. I pray for a peaceful, pain-free transition. Hugs to you and your family during this most difficult time. Blessings, Monica You and your family are in my prayers. Kelley, Kelley, One thing about it Barbara is going to place where she will no longer be in pain. This reminds me of when my 41 years old nephew Charlie died Nov. 1, 2000 from colon cancer at Evergreen hospice in Kirkland, WA. It broke our hearts, but one by one we had to let him go and tell him it was OK. His wife was the biggest holdout and I had to stand by her side as he lay there too weak to even open his eyes or talk and tell her that she had to let him go because he wasn’t going until she told him it was all right. She finally did and later my son Keith came to see him for the first time, and he passed 15 minutes after Keith left. It is so hard to see our loved ones pass, so my heart goes out to you. God bless you all. Love, hugs and prayers, sweete2 better known as Ethel Craven-Sweet Dear Kelley; You have been so strong through all of Barbara’s ups and downs with the fight of her life. She is one lucky person to have had you in there, being strong for her. It is now her time to let go and be with god in her own special way. It takes miracles but to have her whole family surrounding her as she moves to a higher plane, is quite something when you think about it. Not many people have the opportunity to have a family gathering at their going out. This will be hard on you and her children but unfortunately this is how life has been designed. We have a lease on people till it no longer is possible and then we have to move on and remember their goodness and live by example. You have already shown us here at the blog, how comforting and caring a person you are. Bless that god takes care of you in your time of sorrow.
October 29, 2008
Thanks to all of you for the support I continue to get from you all. I say prayers every night for each of you. This is the best bunch of people and I feel like I know you all. Jill did such a wonderful thing when she created this space. Barbara had 3700 cc’s removed yesterday and has taken a step or two down. She asked me yesterday why couldn’t she please just go ahead and die. She is so weak. A few days ago she quit going to the restroom and started using the bedside commode. Now she can’t even get on that without assistance. She has always been such a proud, private person and I hate what this disease has done to her. I am now needing to stay in the room with her while she is on the chair in case she might fall. This dignified lady has always been so modest and this would normally horrify her but she is to the point she knows it has to be this way. She asks me to stay in there with her. She said last night it may be time to go to the inpatient hospice facility. I reminded her that her nurse said she would probably be the first to know if something like that was going on. She said there is no way for her to describe what she feels. She keeps an awful taste in her mouth and said it’s like death has settled in. She talks about reading and hearing of other’s with cancer being so brave and can’t understand why she is not handling it well. I relay some of the things I read on here to her but don’t want to overload her with info. She said she knows this is where I am getting my support from and she is grateful for you all. I wish she could sit and read some of your stories but I read parts to her and she relates so much to what you are saying. I didn’t have the heart to tell her of our special Gemma’s passing. She knew how much I looked forwarded to reading her posts and I am trying to shield as much as I can from her. She said she is tired of everyone who calls and visits (we have greatly limited visitors) always asking how she feels. She does not want to be defined as the lady with ovarian cancer. She wants to hear about other’s lives and not have every conversation be about her dying or what did she eat or drink today. Friday we have our associate pastor coming to see her. She said she is saved but is having dubts about some things and needs some reassurance abut her salvation. I wonder if that conversation is what is helping her hold on and have even thought about trying to move it up a day. I don’t know how much your mind can control your end but do feel like she is giving up. I prayed with her yesterday and asked what she wanted from God and she said for him to come on and take her. As hard as it is I am now praying for her death to come soon if that is what is best for her. Typing that just now is the first time I have voiced that to anyone but God and I feel so torn to be praying for that. We are expecting the nurse soon so maybe we will have a better picture of what is going on. It may just be the paracentesis just wore her out and she needs a day or two to recover from that. It even took 5 sticks to get enough blood to check her coumadin level. Again, thanks to all of you. You all have a special place in my heart. Love, Kellye Dear Sweet Kellye, Kellye, Just wanted to send you a big hug & let you know that you and Barbara are in my prayers. You are one special lady! Blessings, Monica I just wanted you to know that my love, thoughts and prayers are with all of you.
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Thanks for your support -
I am sorry that we have lost Barbara. I know that she will be joining family that has gone before. I send all my love to you and yours.
Hug Sherri
Kellye – I am sorry to hear about your loss. I will be thinking of you and your family and sending you lots of love in this time of need. You are in my prayers.
I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad you all were able to be with her and it was peaceful. I too, cannot say enough good things about hospice.
God Bless,
Lisa
I am sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.
Yuyu
Dear Kellye,
I am so sorry for your loss. Barbara was very lucky to have such a strong and loving family to support her through this experience. You will all be in our prayers during this difficult time.
Peace,
Kathy
Hello Kellye, I’m sincerly sorry to hear about you and your family’s lost. I will be praying for you during this hard moment. I’m here if you need someone to talk to. Peace and blessings
Assefa
Our sister rests in peace and you are in my prayers.
Mac
Kellye,
Barbara was ready. She is blessed to no longer suffer. My love and prayers to all of you.
Kelley,
I am so sorry about your loss. Barbara was blessed to have such a loving daughter-in-law.
You and the family have my heartfelt sympathy and my prayers.
God Bless all of you.
Hugs, Joyce
Dear Kelley; Your work has been done, and you have followed god’s heart to the end, in preparing Barbara for her maker. This is I’m sure a sad time for you and your family. It will take time to heal, may you be granted the same strength that you had for Barbara, to get through this very time of heartache.
Weezie